Scientific Sleeping Beauty

Long Ago, in the year 2050, on the fourth planet of a yellow star, a girl named Bella was choosing her subjects for her Z-Levels (like A-levels, but 26 times harder). “I want to do Maths, Physics and Chemistry,” she said.

“Never,” said her father, who was the best Astro-Physicist on the planet. “I don’t want my daughter to have to put up with what I’ve had to put up with. I think you should choose Fashion Design, Media Studies and...”

Even as he spoke, he couldn’t help remembering the real reason he didn’t want her to study science. When she was born, an evil scientist from the planet Zog (which, as you know, is the 7^th planet in the Vegan system) saw how intelligent she was and feared she would become the best scientist in the galaxy. At the naming party (Christening was abolished in 2025 because it is unscientific) he hissed in her father’s ear: “If she becomes a scientist, something bad will happen to her.” Now, whether this was a prediction, a warning or a threat, her father never knew, but he decided to take no chances.

“...and Beauty Therapy,” finished her father, feeling guilty, but cheering himself up by thinking it was for her own good.

Beauty Therapy was a mistake. There are chemicals in Beauty Therapy, and Bella’s sharp mind wanted to find out all about them. Soon, she was carrying out experiments to invent what every scientist hoped would make him (or her) famous - SAD (the Suspended Animation Drug). This would allow astronauts to sleep for hundreds of years while their spaceships travelled to other star-systems.

Then it happened. The hypodermic needle, which should have gone into the furry bottom of a white rat, pricked her finger and she instantly went into suspended animation.

Her father found her lying on the floor. At first he thought she was dead, but with a sigh of relief, he realised what had happened. She had not been working on a new Bionic Beauty Cream after all, but SAD. He knew what to do. He laid her under the clear plastic cover of a Suspended Animation Booth where she would be safe until she awoke - but when would that be?

In 2150, a young, handsome astronaut landed on the deserted fourth planet. He was taking a big risk, for the planet was a dangerous place, but he had heard rumours that a great prize was to be found among the ruins.

He searched for hours until at last he came to a large dome. Over the door, a faded sign said: “Beauty Products Laboratory”. He went in.

Broken glass and plaster littered the floor, but in the middle of the room, untouched except for a thin film of dust, he saw the Suspended Animation Booth. Underneath its clear plastic cover was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

He drew back the cover and, leaning forwards, pressed his lips on hers. She opened her eyes. “My astronaut!” sighed Bella, “You have come to awaken me with a kiss and claim my hand in marriage!”

“Unfortunately not,” said the astronaut, “Marriage was abolished in 2149 because it is unscientific.”

“Oh, well, why are you here then?”

“I’ve come for a great prize.”

“Me?”

“SAD.”

“Well, I am now, but I wasn’t when I...”

“No, I mean the Suspended Animation Drug - where is it?”

After a hundred years he is still sleeping. He dreams about how she leapt up and stabbed him with the hypodermic needle; about how beautiful she looked; and about how much he wished that marriage had not been abolished in 2149.

© Kit 2007