Haunted School

Cast

Mum
Tim
Tom
Lucy
Linda
Teacher

Scene 1: a school playground, just inside the gate.

Mum: I hope you like your new school, Tim. I'll say goodbye here.
Tim: I'll be fine when my friend Tom turns up – look, there he is!
Mum: Well have a good day, Tim. Give mummy a kiss.
Tim: Aw, mum, the kids'll think I'm a mummy's boy!

Mum gives Tim a kiss. Tim struggles free and runs over to Tom.

Tim: What do you think to our new school?
Tom: New! It looks a hundred years old to me!
Tim: Perhaps it’s new inside.

Scene 2: in the classroom.

Tom: Look, the kids are dressed all funny!
Tim: It's Victorian dress!
Lucy: Hello, my name’s Lucy. You can call me Lu.
Tom: Er, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but...why are you kids dressed all funny?
Lucy: Because we're g...
Linda: Shhh! the teacher's coming.
Teacher: Now you lot, let’s STOP talking and START working. Copy the copperplate writing from the board. We must get it right by this afternoon.

Lucy lifts the lid of her desk and takes out a little blackboard and a piece of chalk.

Tim: That’s a – slate – isn’t it? They’ve not been used for a hundred years!
Lucy: Yes, but...
Linda: Let me explain. You see, Tom, we're g...
Teacher: That girl! Come here!
Linda: Yes ma'am!
Teacher: I said stop talking! Go and sit in the corner.

Linda sits in the corner sobbing quietly. Everybody works hard for the next hour. The bell rings.

Scene 3: in the playground again. Tim and Tom are talking by themselves.

Tim: What's going on here? Everything's so old fashioned.
Tom: Yeah, the teacher’s wearing a cap and gown, the kids are wearing Victorian clothes, and they’re writing old-fashioned copperplate writing on slates!
Tim: Do you think we've gone through a Time Warp into the past?
Tom: Let's ask Linda. She was trying to explain when she got into trouble.

They find Linda.

Tom: Why are all the kids wearing Victorian clothes?
Linda: Because we have to - it's your clothes that don't fit in.
Tim: OK then, why does the teacher wear a cap and gown?
Lucy: She looks really scary doesn't she?
Tim: But tell me why!
Linda: Oh, that's because we're g...
Teacher: Linda! Lucy! How often have I told you not to talk to boys at break time!

The girls go away.

Tom: Listen Tim, I think I know what Linda was going to say.
Tim: What?
Tom: She was going to say: "That's because we're G – GHOSTS!"
Tim: Huh!
Tom: Look at this place! It's all Victorian - I don’t think this is a real school at all - it's a HAUNTED SCHOOL!
Tim: We’d better get out of here!

The bell goes. The children go back into the school but Tim and Tom head for the gate, hoping that nobody will notice.

Lucy: Where are you going?
Tim: Escaping.
Lucy: From what?
Tim: From all you g...
Lucy: Girls?
Tim: No, ghosts.
Lucy: I may be a girl, but I'm not a ghost.
Tom: Linda said you were.
Linda: No, I didn't.
Tim: What did you say then?
Linda: I didn't say anything, because I kept being interrupted.
Tim: What did you want to say?
Linda: I was just explaining that everything seems strange because we're g...
Teacher: Stop talking and hurry up!

Linda moves away.

Tim (Grabbing her arm): TELL ME!
Linda: Everything seems so strange because we're g...going to have a Victorian fair this afternoon.
Tim: What?
Linda: You know, everybody in the school dresses up in Victorian style and we put on a show for the parents. It’s to help us understand history.

Tom and Tim breathe a big sigh of relief.

Lucy: So you don't have to run away now!
Linda: No, we’ll all go to the Victorian fair together.
Lucy: Yes, and then we’re g...
Tim: ...going to write on slates?
Tom: ...going to dress up?
Lucy: No, we’re g...
Linda: ...going to get you behind the bike sheds and we’re g...
Lucy: ...we’re g...
Linda: ...we’re going to give you lots of wet, slobbery kisses!
Tom and Tim: Aarrgghh!!

They run for the school gate.

© Kit 2007